I know this is something that has been said many times before, but recent posts by the fantastic thefrogman inspired me to repeat it once again.

Men’s issues, and I cannot stress this enough, are not the fault of women.

Let’s take the example of men who are victims of assault or abuse at the hands of women. These men are often mocked, ridiculed, or not taken seriously. But this is not because of women, or feminism. Men is these situations are mocked because society teaches us that men are strong and women are weak, and so when a ‘strong’ man is beaten by a ‘weak’ woman, then it’s laughable. It is considered to be the man’s failing for not being a ‘real man’, for not being strong enough to hold off a weak and feeble woman. And what defines a ‘real man’? Why, avoiding any traits associated with femininity of course!

Think about it. You notice how so many of the things that men are looked down on or mocked for by society are things that society typically associates with femininity? Being a stay at home dad, being physically weak, being emotional, being sensitive, being romantic, loving, caring. Men are mocked for these things not because of women who hate men, but because of a society that looks down on women. A society that creates criteria for what makes “a real man” based on avoidance of female traits. After all, being likened to a woman is the biggest insult a man can receive. Being called a ‘pussy’ is expected to drive a man to prove the insult wrong in a way that no other insult is. A school boy who is considered ‘feminine’ will be mocked, despised, and ostracised far more than anyone who is considered ugly, unintelligent, or any other attribute that society teaches us to look down on.

And so you see, the problems that men face are not examples of misandry, or the fault of ‘feminazis’, but are the result of societal misogyny and patriarchy. They are the result of ‘femininity’ being looked down on, and therefore men being looked down on for behaving ‘like women’. This is why feminism is your ally in this, not your enemy. Feminism wants to remove the negativity associated with gender, and the idea that certain genders should behave in certain ways. If feminism accomplished its goals then the issues men face would come crumbling down along with the rest of the patriarchy.

If you really care about men’s issues and equality, then look beyond your own pride and sense of entitlement and help feminism. Let your voice lend a new perspective within a movement trying to find the best way to improve society for everyone.
If all you care about is keeping women ‘in their place’, then carry on supporting ‘Men’s Rights’ movements, and watch as your actions just reinforce the very problems you complain about.

littlespacecase:

• Societal expectations of masculinity
• Societal expectations to provide for women
• No long term reversible male birth control
• Men who are raped are more likely to remain silent and be dismissed or outright laughed at 
• Unfair treatment in child custody battles
• No support for male victims of domestic abuse
• Media portrayal of married men as weak morons

Not men’s issues

• The friend zone
• Women not dating you
• “Fucking femnazis”

And what do all the actual men’s issues have in common? They’re the result of patriarchy.

And this is what bothers me about the Men’s Rights movement. It’s not that there are not serious societal issues that should be dealt with, because there are. And there’s no problem with wanting to personally focus on those issues rather than other issues, in the same way that there’s no problem with donating only to a charity that supports only whales, even when there are many other endangered species.

But the problem is that from the outset MRA’s set themselves as opposition to feminism, and even somehow decided that feminism was part of the problem. How can you attempt to correct social issues when you are so incapable of identifying their cause? It’s like Save The Whales starting a vicious campaign against the WWF, blaming them whales’ extinction. Feminism and Men’s Rights activism should go hand in hand, both trying to address societal views on gender, but MRAs make this impossible by intentionally blinding themselves to anyone’s issues but their own, and then completely miss-attributing the blame for those issues!

By doing this they turn themselves into part of the problem. You have feminists pointing out how male-centric society is, being ridiculed by a group of men complaining about how the conversation isn’t centred around men. The very men who are so bothered by the effects of patriarchy on their own gender appear to be determined to perpetuate the effects of it against the other gender. They complain that male rape victims are not taken seriously and then mock and victim-blame female rape victims. They complain about women being wary of unknown men, and then threaten rape on those who disagree with them. Do you not see? YOU are the problem. YOU are the authors of your own demise. Until you actually make the effort to identify the cause of the problems you fight you will never make progress, and yet to seem to only try and battle symptoms.

Men’s Rights should be a valuable alternative/additional perspective within feminist discussion, but has turned itself into a perfect representation of the patriarchy, the very thing that’s causing these problems in the first place.

I feel that as someone in a position of privilege (be it male, white, straight or anything else) it is important not just to be aware of one’s privilege, but also to recognise the limitations of that awareness.